Seeing is Believing

Well it has certainly been a very long and stressful two weeks, but we are constantly reminded of how incredibly blessed we are.  We are so thankful for the wonderful friends, family, and even strangers that were and still are praying for Peyton.  Peyton had her surgery one week ago and we have gone back to see the doctor for two follow up visits.  So far the doctor says that he could not be more pleased with the outcome.  He is always sure to remind us that we still have a very long road ahead of us, but for right now things are looking good.  I guess we just have to take it one day at a time, but I am confident that Peyton will have perfect vision.

                                                                      Pre- Surgery

Last Thursday was a very long day.  Handing my baby over to the nurse so that she could take her back to the operating room was perhaps the most difficult thing I have ever had to do.  I felt completely helpless, but I knew that God would be guiding that surgeon's hand and everything would be fine.  It was still a very long hour and a half.  Cataract surgery for an adult is only about 15 minutes I am told, but Peyton's surgery took 6x that long. The doctor said that it is because an adult's cataract wants to come out, but on a child they have to really work to get it out.  I am not even going to attempt to explain what exactly the doctor did because it is miles beyond my scope of understanding.  The man is a genius.  I can not even fathom being able to implant a lens into a baby's eye without messing anything else up in the process.  He deserves every penny he is paid!  Anyways, the best thing about her surgery was that the doctor was able to fit her with an implant lens which for right now means that I do not have to attempt to put a contact lens into her eye and hopefully means that she will not need further surgery!  She can now see out of her left eye, but she doesn't really understand what she is seeing because her brain had gotten used to not using that eye.  She will probably always favor her right eye, except of course when her right eye is covered by a patch.  The patch.....this should be a great adventure for the next 8 years or so.  Right now Peyton wears the patch every other day for the entire day.  I am not sure how long that will go on, but she will wear the patch at least for a couple of hours until she is 8. Poor baby!  She has also had to endure 10 drops in her eye each day, but luckily we are down to just 4.  She will be fitted for glasses at her next appointment (in 3 weeks) and she is going to look darling in her new frames!

Post-Surgery

I would just like to add that Children's Healthcare of Atlanta was truly amazing.  We met just about everyone involved in the surgery beforehand and everyone was so incredibly kind and helpful.   I hope that I do not have to go there again, but if I do, I will know that I am in wonderful hands. 

 On to sad, but optimistic news....

Charlie, our almost five year old bichon frise, was diagnosed with a tumor last Friday.  The doctor initially thought it was cancer, and it might still be, but we are not exactly sure at this point.  Charlie had a growth that we noticed around Christmas.  We believed it was just a fatty tumor and figured it was harmless.   Around the same time that Peyton was diagnosed with her cataract (about 2 weeks ago), we noticed that the lump had gotten quite a bit bigger.  I had every intention of taking him to the vet once our lives calmed down a bit, but it just kept growing and he was starting to show signs of pain.  He could not use his right front leg well and it was very painful for him to bark.  So I took him in to the vet last Friday evening.  The doctor was fairly confident that it was cancer.  He took X-rays and determined that it is in a very difficult location.  Wrapped around ribs and touching his chest wall.  He explained that the surgery would be very expensive and difficult for Charlie.   They would be removing some ribs and have to rebuild his chest wall or something like that.  Again...over my head!  Regardless, it does not sound easy.  The recovery period is about 3 months and he will need a great deal of attention.  Well, I don't really have a great deal of attention to give at the moment since I have a 5 month old still in recovery mode.  I had decided that I just could not take on a difficult surgery and recovery right now, especially if he was going to be in pain and there was no guarantee that he would survive much longer.  I was going to put him down.

After crying for nearly the entire weekend, my INCREDIBLY AMAZING parents offered to take Charlie in while he recovers from surgery.  We went and had some more tests run and they are still not sure if it is in fact cancer, but they do not believe that it is the really bad kind of cancer.  I just can't bring myself to give up on him without a fight.  Best case scenario would be that the surgeon is able to get the entire mass out and that will be the end of it.  We are believing in a best case scenario!  Charlie is scheduled for surgery on Monday morning.

Leah giving Charlie kisses

On top of all this, both girls have had bad colds and Leah has been throwing up all morning!  I am still feeling pretty blessed, but I would not be opposed to 2012 getting better.  We have a very serious cash buyer looking at the house on Monday....maybe they will buy it! Let's hope so.  After 18 months on the market, I am ready to move!!!

Staying Positive

Well I don't think that I had really ever read a blog until yesterday and today I am making my own! Last week I took Peyton to the eye doctor and I was told that she has a cataract that needs to be removed ASAP.  In my quest for more information I found the blog of another mom whose child is going through the same thing.  I was getting very frustrated finding only statistics (which were quite negative) and I was in desperate need of finding a positive story of a child with a cataract.  That is when I stumbled upon this other mom's blog.  It was so comforting to know that we were not alone.  It also seemed like maybe it is therapeutic to write out your thoughts and feelings when faced with an adversity like this. So that is why I decided to start a blog!

Let me first just give a brief overview of our family and then I will get in to Peyton's eye.  Leah was a very planned baby.  She was conceived using fertility drugs and shots and lots of prayers.  I actually have a picture of Leah when she was just an egg (not even an embryo yet)....CRAZY!  She is a beautiful, smart, healthy little two year old.  I distinctly remember last December saying to Eric something like, " I would so rather have a surprise baby than go through all that fertility mess again!".  Well even though I wasn't quite ready, God must have been listening because a month later, we learned that I was pregnant again! I was very excited, but also very nervous and strangely I felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt.  Guilty that I was not going to be able to give as much of myself to either child.  But after speaking to numerous people with children close in age, I realized that this is a blessing.  They are going to be BEST friends.   Especially since they are both girls. After what seemed like a very long pregnancy, Peyton arrived in September.  She is absolutely beautiful.  The word that I always find myself using to describe her is "sweet".  She is just the sweetest little baby.  Leah is sweet too, but in a different way.  Leah is a total ham and loves to get attention.  I don't feel like Peyton is going to be like that.  She is more of a calm, shy, relaxing sweet.  Yes, it is tough having two kids 20 months apart, but I am looking forward to the days when they will dress up and play princesses like me and my big sister did.

Now to Peyton's eye. We noticed very early on that Peyton's left eye wandered quite a bit.  I even mentioned it to her pediatrician at her one month and two month appointments, but I guess it is quite normal for an eye to wander early on.  I even called the eye doctor and was told to wait and let my pediatrician look her over.  I should have listened to my instincts and taken her in anyways.  By the time her four month appointment came along, her eye was not wandering as much (maybe she had started to give up on it), but my pediatrician noticed her right eye not focusing.  She sent me to a pediatric ophthalmologist just to be sure.  I got her the first possible appointment which just happened to be Leah's birthday.  I told Eric he did not need to go with me because I fully expected them to just tell me that she had a lazy eye.  I thought maybe we would do a little patching and possibly surgery and she would be fine.  Little did I know that he would drop a total bomb on me.  After examining her eyes for what seemed like forever, he sat me down and told me that my precious little four month old baby had a cataract in her left eye.  That she would need surgery immediately in order to save her vision.  That she would probably have to wear a contact, have multiple surgeries, and have life long issues with her vision.  The analogy he used was, "it is like a very steep mountain and the surgery is just the foothills".  Peyton has a congenital unilateral cataract.  Meaning that she was born with it and it is only in one eye.  Yes I am glad that it is not in both eyes, but they say that having one is actually more difficult than two.  I am not sure why, maybe because she does have vision in her right eye, she has started giving up on that left eye.  We have been patching her good eye every other day which is tough because it more or less leaves her blind since she can't really see out of her left eye.  She goes for surgery on Thursday morning.   I will learn more about the journey ahead of us then.  Everyone keeps telling me how simple cataract surgery is.  Yes, cataract surgery is simple for a grown adult whose vision has been established for decades.  For a small baby who has never known what it is like to see clearly, not so simple.  The ideal age for this surgery is said to be between 6 weeks and 3 months.  Peyton will be one week shy of five months when she undergoes surgery.  I know it is just an eye and not a heart or some other life threatening problem, but I can't help but find myself on the verge of tears at every moment thinking about how unfair it is that my sweet baby girl is going to suffer through this adversity.  I would take it from her in a second if I could, but I know that she will be a stronger person for it.  I am so thankful for the incredible, loving support from our family and friends.  I am thankful for the prayers from friends, family, and even strangers.  I am thankful that God is going to heal my baby and one day soon she will see clearly out of both of her eyes.

For anyone reading this, please pray for Peyton.  Please pray for Dr. Lipsky to perform a perfect surgery on her and that she have no negative side effects as a result of it.  Please pray that her vision be corrected and for Eric and I to have patience through the long road that we have ahead of us.

I will update with the good news after her surgery!